The Way Forward Is Through Your Identity

Nothing is more frustrating than moving towards a goal, a wish, a dream and getting stuck in the muck. Suddenly, you're clamoring to do more, and begging God for answers, reprieve...anything!

Then you end up feeling more stuck. Frustrated. Like you're locked out of Heaven.

Everyone else seems to get it...

Something's wrong with me...

I can't do it anymore...

Every internal programming that has acted as the scaffolding for your life up until this point comes up, and you feel inundated with chaos, confusion, and a feeling of wanting to quit.

What if you didn't have to ditch the whole plan? What if you just needed a pivot - a shimmy shimmy to the left?

A huge passion of mine has spurred from 7 years of working in coaching containers. I've seen so many people enter programs with big hopes, but then things flop.

They started dodging support, hammering me with excuses.

I knew it wasn't a lack of motivation or that these people were epic screw-ups. I also knew that trying to will and push them to "do the things" and "do them right" wasn't the answer either.

You can't build a new structure on the back of old material.

If your wiring is shot, the electricity won't work.

If the roof is caving in, you can't just patchwork the situation and hope for the best.

Same with your goals and visions - your old identity doesn't have the capacity that's needed to keep the vision going. You might be able to skirt by for a little bit, but the building will collapse eventually. And that will only reaffirm old beliefs that kept you feeling stuck in the first place.

Identity work is the work. Everything else is just accessory.

Sure - if you want to build a strong body, you need to lift heavy and eat body-building food.

If you want to start an online business, you need to learn the backend side of things and how to position your messaging. But the identity you build will be the thing that can hold your new life (or body), and will be able to continue to expand.

3 Tips To Help You Lock In The New You

1 - Dare To Be Misunderstood

The biggest killer of your dreams will come from trying to fit the mold that others deem acceptable, or comfortable. My favorite saying is, "If you wouldn't trade lives with them, stop asking them for advice or approval".

I'm the first person in my family to be mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally healthy. I'm the first person who sought out higher education and consciousness expansion work. Do you think I can go back to my family and get sound advice or accolade?

No. Because I'm blazing a trail forward that they've never traveled. I'm facing the excuses, the patterns, the blocks that they continue to cling onto for dear life.

Be it family or some random person on the internet - it's your vision. You're the one holding the codes, and you're the one being called to craft something uniquely you. There will come a time when people "get it". But that doesn't come immediately, especially if you're pushing outside the boundaries of what has already been created.

And that's what the world needs. It doesn't want to be stagnant. The truth of life is that evolution has always happened, is always happening, and will continue to happen. Someone will eventually come along, learn from you, and evolve it a step further.

You don't need the praise or permission from the world to do what God is calling you to do.

2 - Be The Pearl

While the diamond is built under pressure, the pearl is forged through irritation. Eh emm, triggers. A grain of sand enters an oyster which causes the oyster to secrete nacre (mother-of-pearl) around the irritant to protect itself. Over time, a pearl is born.

You are no different.

If you keep spitting the irritant out to protect yourself, you'll never develop the pearl of wisdom. The nacre is strong and resilient. When things come in that irritate, or trigger you, you're given the chance to "secrete" strength and resiliency. And this is done through thought and action.

If you used to react by going into a woe is me story, this is when you start seeing struggle as opportunity.

If you mumble and grumble, and bitch and complain every time there's an inconvenience, this is when you start going through an alchemical process.

What is this bringing forward for me to see?

How am I playing into my own misery?

Is there a better way forward?

Are these internal stories even mine??

I used to complain and woe my way through my health journey. But one day I caught something I'd never seen before - just how much I was leaning on the internal stories and mindsets I had learned.

The ones I learned from people who still haven't reached their health goals. Why did I think that I could create something new out of something that was obviously broken?

Instead of being the "queen of reasons why" I should skip the gym, or grab food out instead of cooking, or giving myself a pass every time I passed through the pastry section - I acknowledged who I had adopted these beliefs from and decided to rewrite that shit.

Just do the thing.

Just say no.

Just make the meal - "You love cooking anyways"

It's not always a mind game either. Sometimes negative things go down in life. That's life.

The car breaks down. The clients don't pour in. The unexpected bill pops up. Your schedule changes.

The Pearl of wisdom is to create a strategy when life happens.

Take a beat. Breathe.

Keep moving forward anyways.

Learn to adapt and be fluid.

Life isn't about things going perfectly. It's about knowing how to respond when they don't - and showing yourself that, yes, you can hold this. You do have the capacity. Then boom! You're already shifting into a new version of yourself.

3 - See The Blessing In The Lesson

This one's a gamechanger because, biologically, we're programmed towards a negative bias.

People love to complain and stir up their own drama so they can blame. Why? Because self-responsibility takes thick skin. It takes a new level of relationship with yourself to talk about the hard things, (much like in any other type of healthy relationship).

What if, instead of focusing on how everyone has done you wrong, you focus on the fact that you learned how you don't want to be treated? What if the lesson was knowing your value so much that you create a new set of standards that brings you peace and move love?

And if someone did abuse you in any way, you get to be the one who reclaims your power from a situation that tried to teach you that you weren't powerful.

Now we're starting to view life from a new lens.

Now you're the main character of your story. You set the tone and write the script.

Let's face it - no matter what goal, dream, or vision that you have on your heart, something is not going to go as planned. We don't learn from things that always go as planned.

It's through things not going as planned that we learn how to refine ourselves and our approach so that we can sustain what we're building.

I'll use myself as an example. Building a website means being open (and prepared) for something to break. And through that, I've learned to face each problem as it surfaces. Did I let the fear of something breaking stop me from creating this space? Absolutely not.

You're not going to get it right at first.

You're going to face setbacks.

Life is full of nuance. Thank God.

But you learn. You get better. You build confidence. You develop the capacity to handle things going sideways so you don't let anything get in the way of what you're trying to build for yourself.

This is the Power Vessel way.

The Power Vessel move.

You're going to be misunderstood, judged, irritated.

You're going to face yourself over and over, layer by layer.

You're going to deal with challenge.

But the sword is forged in the fire.

The pearl is built over time.

What will protect you, sustain you, and be of the greatest value will come through the identity shift that can handle the fire, the irritation, and everything in between.

Be the one who dares to do differently.

Dares to think differently.

And, dares to respond differently - if you want to create something different.