Hi
IT'S TAYLOR
I Was Only Running From Myself
The biggest lie I bought into was to shove it under the rug and it'll go away.
Performing the part of "okay" became second-nature. I believed if I smiled big and lit up the room with my positive personality, I could rule the room. I could overpower all the pain and feeling of "I don't belong" that was lurking underneath the surface.
Everyone loves the positive person! The good girl has so much to give.
And then shadow work entered my life, and the whole facade crumbled around me. The first question that burst my illusion wide open was, "How was I extracting from others?". This whole time I was trying to make everyone comfortable, and extracting their validation from them through my own manipulation. I was burnt out, tired, and drained because I was draining and taking from others.
With this huge revelation, I realized that I was a big part of my own problem. Did I want to continue placating the victim narrative and feeding into my own drama, or was I ready to own my part in my own suffering and finally feel the peace and freedom I was searching for.
That moment taught me a huge lesson:
The only one who can give our power back to us is ourselves, and it comes through radical honesty and owning our decisions fully.
The Gasoline That Lit Me Up
I grew up believing that I was a non-confrontational good girl who always avoided conflict. Aka, I was an expert at laying low and giving all my power away. Until a mentor dropped into my life and told me to "just trust" and "be patient" when my life was on fire. I had two choices: agree with them and keep floating through my life, or finally do something about it and fight for the version of me that was tired of being caged.
I needed the jagged pill of truth to snap me out of my own limitations.
I was done living a life by other people's suggestions. So, I went straight into the fire - into the rage, the depression, the anxiety - and came out the other side swinging. That blasted my voice and my intuition open like a wild fire. The 'good little girl' found her roar.
Too many years had been wasted fearing this roar. Would I scare people off? Could I even handle it? What surprised me was the peace and freedom that came from finally saying what I needed to say and choosing myself no matter what.
And that ignited a drive in me to help others do the same - I was creating a new standard for embodied power, one that didn't require "playing it nice" or following the crowd.
Activating The Power Vessel
You're never going to get free if your whole personality is your healing era. There comes a point when healing needs to turn into movement - into a fire. If you want a life that feels big and expansive, you've got to make it happen.
No one is coming to save you.
If you've made trauma your identity, and you're tired of hearing yourself loop through the same excuse for why you can't move forward - it's time to get off the drama merry-go-round. You're a co-creator with God who has massive potential. And every day you stay married to the past and what happened to you is a choice to remain seated in a chair of misery.
Wealth, health, and happiness are turned on by you speaking up and standing for something bigger. So,
what are you going to choose? That same broken victim record you've been listening to on repeat, or your big, bad, beautiful life.