The biggest lie I bought into was to shove it under the rug and it'll go away. Spoiler alert: It didn't. 

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Performing the part of "okay" became second-nature. I believed if I smiled big and lit up the room with my positive personality, I could be the most powerful Me. I could overpower all the pain and feeling of "I don't belong" that was lurking underneath the surface.

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Everyone loves the positive person! The good girl has so much to give. 

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And then shadow work entered my life, and the whole facade crumbled around me. The first question that burst my illusion wide open was, "How was I extracting from others?". Ouch! This whole time I was trying to make everyone comfortable, and extracting their validation from them through my own manipulation. I was burnt out, tired, and drained because I was draining and taking from others.

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With this huge revelation, I realized that I was a big part of my own problem. And I had two choices: continue placating the victim narrative and feeding into my own drama, or choose to own my part in my own suffering and finally feel the peace and freedom I was searching for. 

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That moment taught me a huge lesson: 

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The only one who can give our power back to us is ourselves - and it comes through radical honesty and becoming coherent with truth.